


Part 2: Who to Trust

by Natasha210



Series: The Monster Within [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Dark Past, Developing Friendships, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Getting to Know Each Other, Hydra (Marvel), Lost Love, Past Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Protective Steve, SHIELD, Secrets, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Trust Issues, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2019-11-04 16:31:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17901617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natasha210/pseuds/Natasha210
Summary: Steve is being a good soldier.  However, the world is constantly getting in the way of a normal life. The people that he can trust is getting smaller and smaller.  When a big secret is revealed, he might have to trust the last person on his list, Jennifer.  She just wants to keep her own secrets from getting out.





	1. Chapter 1

Steve sat in the chair next to Peggy’s bed.  It was hard seeing her like this.  She was weak; her time spent out of the hospital bed was getting shorter and shorter.

“You should be proud of yourself, Peggy,” Steve said looking at the pictures of her large family.  She kept them close keeping them on her nightstand.  Their names were written under all their faces.

“I have lived a life.  My only regret is that you didn’t get to live yours.”  She said following his gaze.  “What is it?”  She asked seeing the slight frown on his face.

“For as long as I can remember I just wanted to do what was right.  I guess I’m not quite sure what that is anymore.  And I thought I could throw myself back in and follow orders.  It’s just not the same.”  Peggy laughed at that.

“You're always so dramatic.  Look you saved the world.  We rather mucked it up.”  Steve smiled at her.

“You didn’t, knowing that you helped found S.H.I.E.L.D. is half the reason I stay.”  She grabbed his hand.  He had to be careful; her hand was so fragile.  He didn’t want to hurt her with his powerful grip.

“Hey, the world has changed, and none of us can go back.  All we can do is our best. And sometimes the best that we can do is to start over…”  She started to cough, and Steve handed her a glass of water.

“Peggy.”  He said getting her attention.

“Steve.” She whispered out.

“Yeah,” He leaned in closer, so he could hear her.

“You’re alive,” Steve had to fight back the pain that filled him at her words.  “You came back.”  She had again forgotten that he had returned.

“Yeah, Peggy.”  He whispered out trying to calm her down.

“It’s been so long.”  She said through tears.  Steve’s heart tightened at the words.  He had left her when he went down in that plane.

“Well, I couldn’t leave my best girl.  Not when she owes me a dance.”  He said holding back his own emotions.  There was a knock on the door.  Looking up Steve saw the nurse motioning at her watch.  Visitation time was over, and he had to leave.  Taking Peggy’s hand in his, he kissed it then quietly left the room.  Hoping that the next time he saw her, she would remember but knowing she probably wouldn’t.  So, Steve would continue to wait for the right dance partner.  He had lost the one he had planned on when this nightmare started.

 

* * *

 

 

Jennifer sat in the pilot seat of the Quinjet doing her best to stay focused.  The team was talking in the back about what they need to free the hostages.  It had been a long week of testing before she was told she was going on this mission.  Rumlow grabbed her shoulder causing her to shift slightly hitting an alarm.  She quickly shut it off checking to make sure everything was alright.  Steve turned at the sudden commotion she had caused.

“Jennifer, I didn’t pick you for this mission for the fun of it.  We just needed a last-minute pilot.  Now focus and let the rest of us do our jobs.”  Jennifer glanced back at Steve and Rumlow.

“Keep your men from distracting men, and it won’t be a problem.”  She growled out at him, not liking his tone.  Steve shook his head and walked back over to talk to Natasha.  This was the first mission Steve had let Jennifer be a member of his team.  To be honest, he didn’t really have a choice.  Jennifer knew that Steve was stressed.  He had gone to see Peggy before the mission.  It was hard to think of her having dementia.  She had gotten to know Jennifer over the years.  This because Jennifer was a victim of the pursuit of the serum.  She had once explained to Jennifer that part of her wished that can of worms had never been opened.  The invention of it led to others trying to recreate it.  Jennifer had done what she could when she first saw the change in Peggy.  However, it wasn’t her area of study and had to leave it to another doctor.  Jennifer visited her on occasion in real life and by other means.  It was hard because of her condition, but it seemed to help her a little.  Unfortunately, the last time she tried to visit Peggy she grew very agitated, and her doctor asked Jennifer not to come back. 

The signal on the screen showed that they were nearing their destination.

“You do anything fun Saturday night?”  Natasha asked Steve causing Jennifer to roll her eyes.  Natasha had told her what her plan was.  Jennifer didn’t think she was going to start so soon.

“Well, all the guys from my barbershop quartet are dead, so no, not really.”  Steve shot back at her.

“Coming up on the drop zone Captain,” Jennifer called trying to rescue him from Natasha medaling.

“You know, if you asked Kristen out, from statistics, she would probably say yes,” Natasha said enacting her plan.

“That’s why I don’t ask.”  Steve deflected preparing to jump.

“Too shy, or too scared?”  Natasha called not letting him off that easily.

“Too busy.”  He called just as he made the jump. 

Jennifer waited for the team to land on the deck before she passed the controls off to the copilot.  She prepared to jump on another part of the ship away from the rest of the team.  So, they wouldn’t see her leaving the plane.

“Cap won't be happy about this.”  He called out to her before she jumped.

“Yeah, but he is never happy when it comes to me,” Jennifer said jumping out.  She like Steve had no shoot.  She plummeted toward the deck of the ship turning her eyes black.  Right before she hit the deck, she blinked herself out of the world.   In an instant, she flashed back in landing on the deck with a thud.  She tried to stand up, but her head was pounding.  Jennifer rolled to her side slowly getting up.  She had to steady herself with the railing taking a small step forward.  It had been Fury’s idea that she could blink herself out and in for the drop.  She had spent most of her testing this week trying to get the timing down.  It had worked, but the pounding headache made her wonder how well.  Jennifer shook her head; she had to get to the engine room.  She was to meet Natasha there.  Natasha had another mission to complete and couldn’t waste her time clearing the engine room.  Jennifer made her way across the ship as quickly as she could.  It was hard as one of the orders was to go unseen.  She slipped up behind a man with a gun who was about to spot Steve.  He was clearing the lower part of the ship.  She stabbed the man in the lung lowering him to the ground to lessen the noise.  Ducking into the engine room, she started taking out the men.  Natasha was overhead doing the same, but she needed to get to the computer system.  Fury wanted her to get some information about the ship unknown by the team.  Jennifer knocked out two more men, then call up to Natasha.

“You go on. I’ve got this you need to complete the mission.”  Natasha nodded and left the room leaving Jennifer to take on the rest of the men.

“Natasha, what’s your status?” Steve called over the comes.  “Statius Natasha?”  She switched over and asked Jennifer on their personal channel.

“Hang on.”  Jennifer spun around and knocked out the last guy.  “Okay” Natasha switched back the main com channel and told Steve.

“Engine room secure.”  Jennifer walks to the entrance to watch for enemies.  She could hear the countdown that Steve was giving in her ear and did her best to stay focused.  Fury had told her that she would be going on the mission after she perfected the drop.  As far as everyone thought she was here to be a pilot nothing else.  Jennifer had to get back on the plane before anyone saw her.

“Natasha, Batroc’s on the move.  Circle back to Rumlow and protect the hostages.  Natasha.”  Steve called over the coms.  Jennifer sucked in a breath.  She was close to them than Natasha.  Jennifer could go help, but that could compromise the mission.  She slammed her hand on the wall running in the direction Steve indicated.  Natasha would have a cow if she could see her, but Jennifer couldn’t risk any hostages getting hurt.  She ran around the corner and slammed into Batroc.  He pressed her hard up against the wall.  Clamping his hand hard on her mouth.  She pulled her left knee up hitting him in the chest.  While shooting him with a quick burst of pain.  Causing Batroc to loosen his grip for a second.  Jennifer uses the opportunity to shove him off her and pull out her knife.

“ _I was sent by a friend project insight_ ,” He said in French.  Jennifer stared at him for a second before he backhanded.  She hit her head knocking her out cold.

 

* * *

 

 

Jennifer felt someone shaking her gently.  She slowly opened her eyes and was greeted by Natasha bending over her.  Natasha held her finger in front of the lips signaling for her to be quiet.  She had soot all over her face, but when Jennifer opened her mouth to ask if she was alright, Natasha stopped her.

“Steve is checking in with Rumlow you need to get to the jet before he sees you,” Natasha said, Jennifer stood up and sucked in a deep breath when the world started to spin slightly.  “Are you Ok” Natasha grabbed her arm to help steady her.

“Yeah.”  Jennifer shook her head and made her way to the jet.  It had landed on the far side to ship.  Steve was standing on the ramp.  He spotted her come around the corner, and she could see his ears turning red.  Accepting her fate, Jennifer slowed her pace and walked up to him.

“Cap.”  She said giving her best smile.

“Next time follow orders, or I won’t pick you for a mission.” He said folding his arms across his chest.

“As if you had a choice.  My orders came from higher up than you.”  She shot back causing his left eye to twitch.

“Get on the jet someone can look at your head.”  Jennifer lifted her hand to her head and pulled back when she felt warm blood on her fingers.

“It will probably scar anyways.  Don’t worry I won’t fly home.”  She said heading up the ramp.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Steve stormed into Fury’s office.

“You just can’t stop yourself from lying can you,” Steve said marching over to his desk.

“Agent Romanoff and Shylow had different missions than yours.”  Fury replied not bothering to turn around.  He was looking out over the city.

“Which you didn’t feel obligated to share.”  Steve stood in front of his desk.  He needed answers he was done with being kept in the dark.

“I’m not obligated to do anything.”  Fury said still not turning around.  It was getting on Steve’s nerves.  Why didn’t he care?

“Those hostages could have died, Nick,” Steve said.  Fury turned around at that statement.

“I sent the greatest soldier in history to make sure nothing happened to them.”  He said setting both his hands on his desk.

“Soldiers trust each other.  That’s what makes it an army.”  Steve snapped back.  “Not a bunch of guys running around shooting guns.”

“Last time I trusted someone I lost an eye.  Look, I didn’t want you doing anything you weren’t conferrable with.  Agent Romanoff is comfortable with everything.  I sent Agent Shylow to ensure that your mission wasn’t compromised.”  Fury said glaring at him.

“I can’t lead a mission when the people I’m leading have missions of their own,” Steve said.

“It’s called compartmentalization nobody spills the secrets because nobody knows them all,” Fury replied.

“Except you, and all those agents that watch Agent Shylow’s sideshow,”  Steve said noticing her name on some of the papers on his desk.

“Agent Shylow’s interrogations are not my call and I do share I’m nice like that.  Just not on things like this.”  Fury said dropping the file in the drawer and locking it.

 

* * *

 

 

Jennifer was sitting in her room at S.H.I.E.L.D. when she got a call from Secretary Pierce.  She walked into the large office.  He had floor to ceiling windows that looked out over the city.

“Have a seat Agent Shylow.”  He said looking out the windows.

“With all due respect sir, I prefer to stand.”  Pierce turned around and stared coldly at her.

“Agent I won’t ask again sit.”  Jennifer took a seat her mussels tensing.  Something wasn't right about this.  She had never met Secretary Pierce but had heard of him.  Being the Secretary and all, it was hard not to hear about him.

“What did you know about Batroc?”  He leaned over his desk staring down at her.  Jennifer fought the urge to fidget under his intense gaze.  Trapped she felt trapped under his gaze.

“You’re going to have to be more specific.  I was on the jet the entire time except when the team requested help.  I engaged with a hostile and was knocked out.  You should ask Captain Rogers he would know more than me.  He was the one that let Batroc get away.”  Jennifer smiled up at him. 

“Oh, I read his report; there was no call for you to assist them.  So why did you leave the ship?  According to Agent Rumlow, Batroc gave you that bump after he said something to you.  What did he say to you?”  He wasn’t yelling at her, but his body language was clearly hostel.  Jennifer got up to walk out of the room.

“I wasn’t done with you Agent Shylow.”  Jennifer whipped her head around darkening her eyes letting out a breath.  The large room filled with smoke blocking out the light from the windows.

“No Sir, we are done,” she hissed at him.

“You will always be the monster that Barton pulled out of that room.”  Jennifer smiled darkly at him.

“Maybe so but remember you’re the one that chose to use me.”  With that, Jennifer walked out of the room and the darkness slowly disappeared.

 

* * *

 

 

Steve walked around the museum.  Having an exhibit about himself was still very strange.  He had seen it before when it was first built.  He found that whenever he didn’t know what to do, he would come and walked around.  Looking at the pictures of his old friends and the life he had lived.  What Fury had shown him had really thrown him off.  Project Insight was designed to take out threats before they happened.  Steve shook his head was this the world he had fought so hard to save.  One that would mistake freedom for fear.  Fury had been right; they had made the hard choices before he went under, but it was for those that couldn’t protect themselves.  Fury said Steve needed to change the way he looked at the world.  Not looking at it the way it should be but the way it is.  Steve shook his head walking past a picture of his parents.  His mom had always said he was a glass half full type of person.  Steve wondered if this new world would allow him to stay that way.  In the past two years, he had done his part of learning this new world.  But that didn’t change the fact that he wished every night that he would wake up and this would all be just a bad dream.  However, every morning he would get up trapped here in this time.

Steve was pulled from his thought by a kid in the crowd that recognized him.  He held his finger up to his lip signaling for him to keep it a secret.  The kid gave a small nod before running off in the direction his parents went.  Steve walked to the back of the exhibit where one of the videos played.  Peggy’s face flashed on the screen.  She had given an interview a few years after he had gone into the ice.  Steve closed his eyes her voice haunting him.  He knew he didn’t make the wrong decision, but it felt like he did every time he went and saw her.  She had been there for him when he failed Bucky.  “It wasn’t your fault.”  That was what she had said to him.  Well here he was alone with no one left, and that was his fault.


	3. Chapter 3

Jennifer walked into Natasha’s apartment.  She had been given the option to live at S.H.I.E.L.D. but Natasha like her space.  Jennifer was never given a choice to live anywhere other than S.H.I.E.L.D. because of her powers.  Natasha was sitting on her couch eating popcorn.

“Hey, Angel of Dreams, what’s going on.  Did you hear that I might finally get Steve to go out with the nurse that lives across from him?”  Natasha called out using the nickname that she and Clint gave her.  Jennifer had never met the nurse but could care less about Natasha’s matchmaking.

“I think that something is going on at S.H.I.E.L.D.,” Jennifer said ignoring Natasha’s comment.  Natasha who had been looking over a Russian magazine turned to look at her.

“Why do you say that?” Jennifer sighed and started to tell her about her strange encounter with Pierce.  Before she could finish, their phones went off.

_Fox is down_.  Was scrawled on the screen.  Natasha cursed in Russian while Jennifer grabbed her things.  Fox was Director Fury’s code name.  This was not turning out to be the day she thought it would be.  As they were headed out the door Jennifer’s phone buzzed again.

_You're needed at Headquarters_.  It was from Sharon Carter or Agent 13 as she was more commonly referred to.  Natasha looked over her shoulder and read the message.

“Go they probably need you for the interrogation.  I’ll let you know if anything happens.”  Jennifer nodded and climbed into her car.  It didn’t take long for her to get back to S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters.  Part of her wanted to be at the hospital, but what good would she do there.  She wasn’t a doctor not anymore.  She like always was traped.  Jennifer made it to the third floor and walked up to Agent 13.  There was something different about her, but it could just be the thing with Fury.  She had shown to be very loyal to him over the years.

“Sharon what can I do for you.”  Sharon shifted looking down at her feet.  Jennifer slowly grew aware of the large number of agents standing around her.  One of the men flipped the safety off his gun.

“I’m so sorry, but I’m told that you are to be detained on the grounds of assisting Batroc escape.” Sharon quickly took three steps back and pulled her gun.  The agents around Jennifer started doing the same.  Jennifer took a deep breath and looked into Sharon’s eyes.

“You don’t want to do this.”  Jennifer clenched her fist.

“That’s the thing I have to do this.”  Jennifer could see that she was torn but knew that Sharon was too skilled of an agent to disobey orders.  Jennifer deepened her eyes letting out a breath filling the area with smoke.  Then dropped to the ground kicking the agent’s feet out from under them.  She rolled to the left slipping past them and headed down the hall.  When she rounded the corner, someone grabbed her arm.  Jennifer turned and found Sharon staring at her with her gun.

“Don’t make me do this,” Jennifer whispered before changing her eyes to red sending pain into her.  Sharon dropped to the ground screaming and gasping for air.  “I’m sorry,” Jennifer said while she ran down the hallway blinking back the pain from a headache that appeared.  She didn’t dare use fear on Sharon.  She was to good an agent for that.  Jennifer made her way out of the building.  She grabbed one of the cars and hot-wired it the way Natasha showed her.  After checking it to make sure it didn’t have a tracker on it.  She tried to call Natasha, but she didn’t answer her phone.  Shaking her head, Jennifer headed downtown.  She needed to find Natasha she could help her get out of this mess.  What was going on with S.H.I.E.L.D. today?

 

* * *

 

 

Jennifer changed out of her uniform opting for more common street clothes in an attempt not to draw attention to herself. She walked into the hospital using one of the side entrances.  Jennifer spotted Natasha walking down the hallway toward someone standing in front of a vending machine.  Before Jennifer could react, the man grabbed Natasha shoulder and shoved her in of a supply room.  Jennifer ran down the hall pushing past an orderly to reach the closet.  She stopped short her hand hovering over the handle hearing voiced from inside.  It was Natasha’s and if she wasn’t mistaking the other was Steve’s voice.  What was he doing here?  She looked down at the handle slowly releasing it to listen in on their conversation.  Maybe they had an idea about what was going on around here. 

“I bet you knew Fury hired the pirates and had Shylow let him go on the ship.”  Steve hissed at Natasha.

“Well, it makes sense.  Jennifer was following Fury’s orders.  The ship was dirty, Fury needed a way in so did you.” Natasha replied coldly. 

“I’m not gonna ask you again,” Steve threatened.

“I know who killed Fury.”  Natasha said, “Most of the intelligence community doesn’t believe he exists.  The ones that do call him the Winter Soldier.”  Jennifer froze at the name.  The Winter Soldier had killed many agents even taking a shot at Natasha once.  Fury had said they wanted to capture him so Jennifer could take a crack at him.  However, the thought of crawling around in the mind of someone like that scared her.  It might just push her over the edge.  There was a crash down the hallway pulling her from her thoughts.  Jennifer glanced over half listening to Natasha and Steve talking.  It had been a cart with food on it.  However, she did see two guards come around the corner.  Turning around Jennifer entered the room where Steve and Natasha were.  She shut the door causing Steve to spin around with his fist ready to knock her out.  She held up her hands in defense.

“What are you doing here,” Steve asked.  Jennifer locked the door.

“Same as you, S.H.I.E.L.D. is after my information since I was part of Fury’s plan on the ship.  I came here to find Natasha.  I thought that she could help me lay low.”  Steve stepped closer to her.  She was tall, but Steve easily towered over her.  Jennifer took a small step back bumping up against the wall.  She had to push back the urge to run feeling suddenly trapped under his gaze.

“Why did you let him go,” Steve said not noticing the slight increase in her breathing. 

“He said a password that Fury gave me.  Then he knocked me out,” Jennifer said her eyes darting over to Natasha.

“What was that,” Natasha asked Steve took a step back allowing Jennifer to relax.

“Insight.”  Steve and Natasha glanced at each other.  “Well, I guess it’s just the three of us,” Jennifer said, not missing the disappointment that flashed on Steve’s face at her words.  She stuck her hand out looking up at him.  “What do you say Rogers are you willing to work with a monster like me.”  She flashed him a smile.  Steve took her hand squeezing it tightly.  A small reminder of the power that he held.

“No more secrets if you’re to come with us I need to be able to trust you.”  He said eyeing her.  Jennifer grew serious rolling her shoulders back.

“Promise,” Jennifer said, there was a slow clap in the background.

“Ah, why don’t we all just hold hands and sing a song,” Natasha said, making a gagging motion.  Steve looked at her disapprovingly.

“All we need now is a computer,” Steve said holding up the drive.  Jennifer grabbed it out of his hand looking at it.

“I think that I might have an idea.”


	4. Chapter 4

Jennifer sat at a coffee shop across from the computer store.  She was watching for any S.H.I.E.L.D. agents that might have found them.  Steve and Natasha were getting access to the information through one of the computers.  Natasha nodded to her and Jennifer started the timer.  They had nine minutes to get the information and get out.  One of the people working at the store walked up to Steve and Natasha starting to talk to them.  Jennifer got up; she had to do something they needed the information.  Natasha was distracting him, but the more time they spent talking to him the less time they would be able to look at the data.  Jennifer walked up behind him and tapped the salesman on the shoulder.

“Hi, can you tell me where you keep your DVD players.”  The man was so taken back by her question that he completely forgot about Steve and Natasha.  The man continued to ramble on when Steve grabbed the drive and signaled for Jennifer to get out.

“Well If you refuse to sell a DVD player to me then I will take my business elsewhere.”  She walked away with a huff flicking her ponytail as she went.  After leaving the store, she pulled her hood up heading for the exit.  Steve and Natasha were three paces ahead of her when she first spotted the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents.  Steve put his arm around Natasha and laughed trying to look inconspicuous.  Jennifer turned and pretended to window shop while the agent walked by not noticing her.  The three of them were making their way down the escalator when Rumlow appeared on the one going up.  Natasha turned around looking up at Steve.

“Kiss me,” Natasha said to him.

“What?” he said looking at her.

“Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable,” Natasha explained to him.

“Yes, they do,” Steve replied just as Natasha kissed him.   Jennifer's face grew slightly red at sight and her stomach twisted in a knot.  Turning she made her way down the escalator while Rumlow was looking away.  She would have to be blind not to notice Steve.  Over the years, she had known Steve; they had formed a decent working relationship.  Albeit a strained personal relationship.  He hated her abilities and what they did to people.  Especially after he watched the interrogation last year.  However, he still asked her to use them and expected results.  If only he knew the other risks that came with them.  He might stop asking her.

 

* * *

 

 

Jennifer fell asleep in the back of the truck.  They had grabbed it after making it out of the mall unseen.  Steve drove, and Natasha sat shotgun.

“Where did Captain America learn how to steal a car?”  Natasha asked, wanting something to pass the time.  Steve had shot down all the music choices on the radio.  Claiming that it wasn’t real music.

“Nazi Germany.”  He replied.  Bucky had been the one to show him.  It was shortly after Steve had broken him out of HYDRAS lab.  They had been separated from the Howling Commandoes and needed a fast way to the rendezvous point.  Steve originally didn’t want to take the car.  Bucky, however, reminded him that they had to get back to the team.  They were going to take down a train that held HYDRA weapons.  Steve looked over at Natasha.  “And we’re borrowing.  Take your feet off the dash.”  Steve said tapping her leg.  Natasha looked at him then slowly put her feet on the floor.  Steve shook his head pushing away the memories.  That was the mission where Bucky had died.  

“All right, I have another question for you, which you do not have to answer.  I feel like, if you don’t answer it though you’re kind of answering it, you know.”  Natasha said in a flurry of words

“What,” Steve said stopping her rambling.

“Was that your first kiss since 1945?”  Natasha said looking at him.

“That bad, huh,” Steve said glancing over at her.

“I didn’t say that,” Natasha said.

“Well, it’s kind of sounds like that’s what you’re saying,” Steve said with a huff.

“No, I didn’t; I just wondered how much practice you’ve had.”  She said her voice razing slightly.

“You don’t need practice,” Steve said his voice matching her.

“Everybody needs practice,” Natasha said.  Jennifer shifted in the back drawing their attention.

“It was not my first kiss since 1945,” Steve said lowering his voice.  “I’m 95; I’m not dead.”

“Nobody special though?”  Natasha asked looking over at him.  Causing him to let out a small laugh.

“Believe it or not it’s kind of hard to find someone with shared life experience,” Steve said not wanting to think about it.

“Oh, it’s simple just make something up,” Natasha said plainly.

“What like you.”  Steve glanced over at the spy.

“I don’t know.  The truth changes depending on circumstances.”  Steve saw a flash of sadness cross her face.

“Sounds like a hard way to live.  How can you know what to do if you don’t hold to absolute truth?”  Natasha gave a small smile.

“You sound like Jennifer.  But it’s a good way not to die.”  She looked out the window.

“You know it’s kind of hard to trust someone when you don’t know who that someone really is,” Steve said causing her to tilt her head slightly.

“Yeah, who do you want me to be?”  Steve smiled looking at her.

“How about a friend.”  Natasha let out a small laugh.

“Well, there’s a chance you might be in the wrong business, Rogers.”  He waited a few minutes then looked over at her.  “My turn for questions where did Jennifer get her powers.  I know that it was in an attempt to remake the super soldier serum, but her file is so redacted I can’t find anything.”  Natasha turned back to make sure that Jennifer was still sleeping.

“Jennifer was kidnapped as a young child.  They killed her parents in front of her.  Then they took her and held her for a year running tests on her.  Jennifer’s file has never contained a full account of what they did.  Barton found her, and S.H.I.E.L.D. put her in a home, so she could have a normal life.”  Natasha said.

“Doesn’t look like a very normal life,” Stave said letting out a small laugh.  Natasha looked out the window.

“When her abilities appeared S.H.I.E.L.D. was happy to use her.  So, they ripped her from that family.  They loved her, and to the surprise of all, she had grown to love them.  No one thought she would be able to, after all, she had been through.  What does S.H.I.E.L.D. do?  Take her away from her second family.  To this day, she hasn’t been allowed to return to the home.  Clint and I always wanted her skills as an agent to be enough so she wouldn’t have to use her powers.  Being a doctor or a pilot was our plan to keep her out of the field.  Unfortunately, S.H.I.E.L.D. had other plans and started using her for more and more interrogations.  Then she got picked to be an Avenger that sent her on missions where she had to use them.”  Steve glanced back at the sleeping woman.  Jennifer was beautiful, but right now she was drooling.  If she knew she would be horrified.  He smiled slightly at the thought.

“Why not let her use the abilities if she has them.  I can’t turn my power on and off.  It seems strange to try and go out of your way to avoid using them like she does.  I know that the fear one or whatever you call it does terrible things, but the others seem useful.”  Steve asked, Natasha, sighed and looked at him.

“That’s the problem there is a drawback to all her powers.  She has never told Clint or me what they are, but we have seen the damage it can do.  Once when she was interrogating someone something happened, and she was in a coma for three days.  The more she uses them, the less willing she becomes.”  At that moment, Jennifer shot up screaming and panting for breath before she realized where she was.

“Are you alright,” Steve asked softly looking at her through the rearview mirror.  He didn’t want to startle her.  Jennifer looked up at them whipping her mouth on her sleeve.

“Hum yeah, I’m fine don’t worry about me.  I just forgot where I was for a second.”  Jennifer shook her head and turned to watch the scenery pass by the window.  If Steve wasn't mistaken, her whole body was shaking.  What was it that could scare a person that could drive people insane with just the change of eye color?


	5. Chapter 5

They pulled up to the old army base, and all got out of the truck.  They wandered through the base from building to building.  It was empty for the sign it looked like no one had been to it in the past 30 years.  The sun had mostly gone down making it hard to really look around.  Natasha tried to keep up a conversation with Steve, but he was lost in memories.  Jennifer wasn’t much better still trying to shake off that nightmare.

“Well, this was a dead end.  Zero heat signatures.  Zero waves, not even radio.”  Natasha said, “Whoever wrote the file must have used a router to throw people off.”  Jennifer watched Steve; he was looking at a building.  She tapped Natasha’s arm pointing at him. “What is it?”

“Army regulations forbid storing munitions within 500 yards of the barracks.”  He explained walking over to the building.  “This building is in the wrong place.”   Steve used his shield to break the lock off the door.  The three entered the building ducking under the occasional cobweb.  Jennifer spotted a light switch.  She debated using it but ended up throwing it.  The lights in the room slowly started to turn on allowing them to see.

“You know that could have killed you,” Natasha said looking over the room.  Jennifer shrugged her shoulders.

“Be honest you would just be disappointed that you hadn’t killed me first,” Jennifer replied earning a swat to the back of the head from Natasha.

“That’s right, and Clint would be right behind me,” Natasha said Steve cleared his throat pointing at a S.H.I.E.L.D. logo that was on the wall.

“This is S.H.I.E.L.D,” Natasha said walking over to him.

“Maybe where it started,” Steve said walking further in the building.

“I read about these places never seen one,” Jennifer said pulling her arm tight around her body.  They made it to the back of the building.  On the far wall were pictures of the founders.

“There’s Stark’s Father,” Natasha said pointing to the first one.

“Howard,” Steve said staring at it.

“Who is the girl?”  Natasha asked this time; however, Steve walked away not answering.  Jennifer grabbed Natasha’s arm mouthing “Peggy” to her.  She nodded recognizing the name.  The two of them followed the soldier.  He was looking at some of the shelving.

“If you’re already working in a secret office,” Steve said grabbing the shelf pulling it back revealing an elevator.  “Then why do you need to hide the elevator?”  Jennifer’s heart dropped to her stomach at the sight of it.  Natasha walked over to the keypad scanning it.  Then put in the code opening the doors.  Steve and Natasha got on the elevator, but Jennifer hesitated not moving.

“Come on,” Steve said to her.  Natasha looked at Jennifer.

“Do you need a minute,” Natasha asked her eyes fixed on her friend.  Jennifer looked at her taking a deep breath before getting on the elevator.  She pressed against the wall pulling her arms even tighter around herself.

“Are you sure you’re alright,” Natasha said quietly.  She was standing close to Jennifer but not touching her.  Steve only then seemed to notice the change in her.  He turned to look at them.

“Is she alright,” Steve asked Natasha, he reached out to touch Jennifer, who was now shaking, but Natasha slapped his hand away.

“She is fine just get this elevator moving,” Natasha said not looking away from Jennifer.  Steve nodded starting the elevator he looked back at the woman.  She was taking in deep breaths but seemed to be settling down.  Her long black hair flopping in front of her face.  The door opened, and Steve let Jennifer get off first.  Her legs were slightly wobbly.  He walked over to her reaching out to help her.  However, she held up her hands backing away.

“I’m fine let's just get the information and get out of here,” She snapped.  Steve looked at Natasha, and she nodded in agreement.  They all walked slowly into the room Steve standing protectively close to Jennifer.  The lights came on revealing that the room was full of old computers.  They walked to the center where the keyboard was.

“This can’t be the data point.  This technology is ancient,” Natasha said.

“Except for that,” Jennifer said her voice slightly raspy pointing at a USB hub that was sitting on the desk.  Natasha walked up to it.  She slowly put the drive in it.  All the computers came on at that moment. _Initiate System_ was scrawled on one of the main screens.  Natasha walked over to the keyboard and typed in yes.

“Shall we play a game?”  Natasha said quoting the last movie she and Jennifer had watched together.  Jennifer laughed slightly at this.  Her mussels growing slightly less tense.  Natasha stood up looking at Steve.  “It’s from a movie that was really…” He cut her off.

“I know I saw it,” He said.  Code started clawing over the screen and if Jennifer wasn’t mistaken it almost looked like a face.

“Rogers, Steven, born 1918.  Romanoff, Natalia Alianovna, born 1984.  Shylow, Jennifer, born 1987” the computer said.

“It’s some kind of recording,” Natasha said.

“I am not a recording, Fräulein.  I may not be the man I once was when the Captain took me prisoner in 1945.”  The computer replied flashing an old black and white picture on the screen.  It was of a man in a lab coat with glasses.

“You know this thing,” Natasha asked Steve.

“Arnim Zola was a German scientist who worked for the Red Skull,” Steve said walking around the computer.  “He’s been dead for years.”

“First correction, I am Swiss.  Second, look around you.  I have never been more alive.  In 1972, I received a terminal diagnosis.  Science could not save my body.  My mind however that was worth saving on 200,000 feet of databanks.”  The computer continued as Steve walked back over to them, he stepped in front of Jennifer. Forcing her to move in order to see the computer screen more clearly.

“How did you get here,” Steve asked.

“Invited,” the computer said.

“It was Operation Paperclip after World War II S.H.I.E.L.D. recruited German scientists with strategic value,” Natasha explained to them.

“They thought I could help their cause.”  The computer said lowering his voice.  “I also helped my own.”

“HYDRA died with the Red Skull.”  Steve shot back at him.

“Cut off one head; two more shall take its place.”  He said back sending chills up Jennifer’s spine.

“Prove it,” Steve said.  Another image appeared on the screen.  This one Jennifer recognized as the Red Skull.

“HYDRA was founded on the belief that humanity could not be trusted with its own freedom.”  The screen shifted through different pictures of HYDRA.  “What we did not realize was that if you try to take that freedom, they resist.  The war taught us much.”  A video of Steve fighting caused him to stiffen slightly.  “Humanity needed to surrender its freedom willingly.  After the war, S.H.I.E.L.D. was founded, and I was recruited.  The new HYDRA grew.  A beautiful parasite inside S.H.I.E.L.D. for 70 years HYDRA has been secretly feeding crisis, reaping war and when history did not cooperate history was changed.  Jennifer, she is the product of this very organization.  She was one of the first successful experiments after you downed the plane.  Yes, some said she was a failure, but she has proved herself useful in other areas.  The real beauty was that they did it in one of their own S.H.I.E.L.D.’s locations.  She has been working for the very people that made her into a monster.  Not even her parents could keep her safe.  They found out about HYDRA and tried to run, so we had them removed.”  A picture of one of Jennifer’s many victims flashed on the screen.  Followed by one of her dead parents.  Jennifer felt her stomach give out.  She turned to the side dropping to her knees throwing up.  Jennifer coughed as she tried to breathe.  When she brought her hands up to wipe her face, they were trembling all she could see were the faces.  Steve punched the screen having heard enough.  The face, however, appeared on another laughing.  Steve walked up to the screen talking to the computer.  Jennifer wanted to listen, but she couldn’t seem to focus.  The evil laugh filling her mind fighting for control.  Natasha walked over to her handing her a mint.  Then headed back over to the computer with Steve.  Wanting to give Jennifer space.  She took the mint and popped it in her mouth.  _How could S.H.I.E.L.D. have done this to her?_  Jennifer thought shaking her head still not daring to stand up straight.  Her legs were still too shaky.

“Unfortunately, you will be to dead to hear it.”  The computer said.  Jennifer shot up at that spitting out the mint.  Steve tossed his shield at the elevator, but the doors closed and locked.  Natasha pulled out her phone.

“Guy’s, we got a bogey. Short-range ballistic 30 second tops,” she said.  Jennifer ran over, looking over her shoulder to see the information.

“Who sent it,” Steve asked.

“S.H.I.E.L.D,” Jennifer said reading the information off the screen.

“I am afraid I have been stalling Captain.”  The computer started to talk again, but they were all ignoring it.  Natasha grabbed the drive while Steve and Jennifer looked for an exit.  “Admit it, it’s better this way.  We are both of us.”  Steve spotted a vent on the floor and ripped it off revealing a small hole.  “Out of time.”  Jennifer looked at it her feet not moving.

“Jen,” Steve called snapping her out of her frozen state.  She and Natasha ran over to him hopping in the hole with him.  Steve grabbed them and covered them with his shield.  Just as the explosion went off.


	6. Chapter 6

The explosion took down the building.  Even with all his strength, Jennifer could hear Steve straining under the weight of the structure.  She turned her eyes black and blinked some of the falling rubble out of the world.  Steve’s groaning eased slightly.  Jennifer could blink the three of them out, but she didn’t want to risk putting them through it.  She waited though ready to do it if Steve couldn’t hold it.  The rubble stopped falling after a few seconds, andSteve pushed the large part of the wall back. Jennifer stood up coughing from the ash and staggered slightly from a headache that had started.  Natasha was laying with her back up against the wall dazed.  Steve turned around and grabbed Natasha gently carrying her in his arms.  Jennifer picked up his shield and followed closely behind him.  Quinjets flew overhead as they made their way back to the truck.  When they reached it, Steve placed Natasha in the back with Jennifer crawling in behind her. Steve got in the truck and pulled back onto the road kicking up dust. Jennifer quietly examined Natasha while trying not to get jostled around because of the speed Steve was driving. When she determined that Natasha would be okay, she slipped into the passenger seat of the car and turned to examine Steve while he drove.

“You don’t have to do that.”  He said glancing up at her while she cleaned a cut on his forehead with the first aid kit that was thankfully in the truck.  Jennifer glanced down at him.

“I read your file.  I know that it takes longer for you to heal when you haven’t eaten in a while.  I might as well help you out by cleaning it.”  She taped one of the larger cuts closed.  She would love to be able to stick it up but that the kit didn’t have the supplies she would need.

“What about you…do you.  Did you get any abilities like mine?”  He glanced up at her.  She let out a small laugh.

“No, I don’t heal or have super strength.  The only thing that I got that was like you was age.”  Steve’s brow furrowed causing Jennifer to have to adjust some of the tape. 

“What do you mean age,” he asked.

“Well, you don’t age because of the serum.  You are stuck at the age you were first given it.  I am stuck at the age of 25 when all my powers finished surfacing.  Unlike you, my body isn’t regenerating; it’s frozen in time.” When she finished, she sat down and turned to look out the window. They drove in silence for a while when Jennifer looked over at him.  He stared out the windshield clearly lost in his thoughts.  His face was covered in ash apart from the areas that she cleaned around the cuts.

“Are you alright.” She asked her voice cracking slightly.  She hated when it did it, but there was nothing she could do about it.

“I thought you said you read my file. I’ll heal in time.” The corner of his lip raised slightly.

“You know I’m not talking about that.  You just found out that HYDRA was never destroyed, and you have been working for then the past two years.”  Steve glanced at her.

“True but I didn’t find out that I’ve been working for the people that killed my parents and made me into a monster.” Steve slammed his mouth shut. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”  Jennifer was quiet for a while before letting out a slow breath.

“It’s true.  I spent a year of my life in a small room.  I was poisoned, shocked, stabbed, and only they know what else. What other than monster can you call me? It’s an event to see what damage I can do on people with a change in eye color.  Part of me wished Clint just left me in the room.”  Jennifer said not looking at him.  She didn’t want him to see how weak she was.

“Is the room why you had a problem with the elevator,” Steve asked carefully.  Jennifer took a deep breath shaking her head.

“I normally don’t have a problem with elevators but with the bunker and how deep in the ground it was going.  I don’t know it’s been 19 years I should be past it by now.” She said in frustration.  Steve looked over at Jennifer.  Her mouth was clamped shut forcing her emotions in check. The tears falling down her cheek however showed that is wasn’t working very well.  Steve reached over and wiped one off her face she turned and looked at him. Her deep blue eyes widened then quickly turned away.

“It’s understandable Jennifer we all have things that haunt us.”  She looked down at her wrists.

“What haunts you, Steve,” She asked her voice quiet.

“That I’m not the person Dr. Erskine thought I was. If I were better, I might have been able to save my friends…Bucky, Peggy, my old life.” Steve said.  Jennifer nodded.

“From what I know about you Steve he made the right decision when he picked you.  You put other people before yourself.”  Steve blushed slightly at the compliment.

“What about you do you regret joining S.H.I.E.L.D. after what we found out,” He asked.

“No, I didn’t really have a choice when it came to joining S.H.I.E.L.D., but I would have anyways.  S.H.I.E.L.D. may have made me, but they also gave me the opportunity to fight for what is important to me.”  She said looking over at him.

“What’s important to you Jennifer.”  She gave a small smile.

“Freedom.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, they are slowly getting to know each other. If only it were that simple.


	7. Chapter 7

Steve and Jennifer didn’t talk much for the rest of the drive.  Natasha had come around and was doing better.  But they all were lost in their thoughts.  They pulled into a parking lot and ditched the truck.  Jennifer wanted to ask where they were going but was too tired.  Steve openedthe back gate, andthey walked up to the house.  He knocked on the door, anda man openedit.  Jennifer was surprised to recognizethe man.  Sam Wilson had been called in to act on some of the information she had collected a few years ago.  However, Jenniferhad heard he had retired after the death of his teammate Riley.  She didn’t know his methods but did know he had a way of getting things done.

“Hey man,” he said not fazed by their ragged appearance or the strange hour.  It was so dark that only the light from inside the house lit their dirty forms.

“I’m sorry about this.  I know its late.  We need a place to lay low,” Steve said.

“Everyone we know is trying to kill us,” Natasha added.

“Not everyone,” he said stepping back so they could enter.

* * *

Jennifer stood in the kitchen helping Sam make an early breakfast.  It was so early you couldn’t really call it that.  She had done her best to clean herself up, but no amount of soap was going to get rid of the bags under her eyes.  Sam kept glancing up at her before he finally opened his mouth.

“I take it you all have been through a lot, and I hate to say it, but you all look terrible.”  Jennifer smiled she liked this guy.  He was laid back and had a way of saying what was on his mind.  He and Steve apparently met at the VA where Sam worked.  Jennifer looked at him.  He had a lot of experience working with trauma.

“Can I ask you something.”  He looked at her slightly surprised.

“Why me,” He flipped another pancake.

“You don’t live in the world that we do.”  She said Sam held up the spatula shaking it at her.

“I used to live in that world.” He corrected she nodded her consent.

“Do people ever get over the nightmares?”  He looked at her for a second then gave a small nod.  He had high enough clearance to know who she was and what she could do.

“I don’t think people ever get over them. They just learn to deal with them. You have seen a few.”  Jennifer laughed slightly.

“Yeah, but I am the cause of much more.”  Sam nodded handing Jennifera plate.

“You had no choice.  You were given orders.”  Jennifer looked at him.

“But after all of this how can I hide behind that excuse.  Those orders could have been from the very people that made me this way.  How can anyone ever trust me.”  She put the food on the servingplate.

“I think it’s safe to say that those two people in there trust you,” Sam said pointing in the directionwhere Steve and Natasha were getting cleaned up.  “The rest well that’s up to you.  I’m going to go tell them the food is ready.”

* * *

 They all sat around the table eating breakfast.

“So, the question is who at S.H.I.E.L.D. could launch a domestic missile strike?”  Natasha asked looking over the information from the base.

“Pierce,” Steve said watching Jennifer.  She was staring out the window lost in her thoughts. He had seen her do it before but never noticed how often she did it until this all blew up in their face.

“He happens to be sitting on top of the most secure building in the world,” Natasha said gently tapping Jennifer’s foot.  The movement caused Jennifer to jump slightly.  Her hands slowly made their way to her wrists.

“But he’s not working alone.  Zola’s Algorithm was on the Lemurian Star,” Steve said. Natasha snapped her fingers at that.

“So was Jasper Sitwell.”  Jennifer lookedup at that.

“He was the one that ordered most of my interrogations,” She said shaking her head.

“So, the real questionis how the three most wanted people in Washington, going to kidnap a S.H.I.E.L.D. officer in broad daylight,” Steve asked Jennifer and Natasha. 

“Your answer is you don’t,” Sam said dropping a file on the table.

“What’s this?”  Steve asked looking at the picture.

“Call it a résumé,” Sam said Natasha picked the picture up.

“Is this Bakhmala.  The Khalid Khandi Mission that was you.”  Natasha askedJennifer looked at him.

“I didn’t know you got sent on that mission,” Jennifer said remembering the information she had gotten from her victim. It was an impossible mission.  When she had heard that someonehad pulled it off,she was shocked.

“You didn’t say he was a Pararescue,” Natasha said to Steve.

“Is this Riley?”  Steve asked Sam pointing at a picture of Sam and another soldier next to him.

“Yeah,” He replied leaving a respectful pause after his answer.

“They couldn’t bring in the choppers because of the RPGs,” Jennifer explainedtelling them the information she had obtained.

“What did you use a stealthshoot,” Natasha asked him looking over the report.

“No, these,” He said holding up the rest of the file.

“I thought you said you were a pilot,” Steve said looking up from the plans Sam had shown him.

“I never said pilot,” Sam said smiling.

“Ican'task you to do this,” Steve said shaking his head.  “You got out for a good reason.”

“Dude, Captain America needsmy help.  There’s no better reason to get back in.”  Sam replied with a laugh.  Jennifer touched Steve’s arm drawing his attention.  Her eyes still seemed distant.

“He’s good, andwe could use all the help we can get,” Jennifer added smiling at Sam.

“Where can we get our hands on one of these things?” Steve asked looking through the file.

“The last one is at the damage controlundergroundstorage vault.  Behind three guarded gates and a 12-inch steel wall.”  Sam described to them.  Steve looked over at Jennifer and Natasha who shrugged their shoulders.

“Shouldn’t be a problem.”


	8. Chapter 8

The four sat in the car in an old gas station parking lot. The sun had yet to come up. It had been a long night, and it was nowhere near being over.

“Are we sure this will work,” Steve asked looking back at Jennifer. She opened her mouth to reply, but Natasha stopped her leaning forward.

“It will work.” She said firmly leaving no room for argument. Sam shook his head looking back at her through the rearview mirror.

“I got to hand it to you this is quite the plan,” he said. Natasha had come up with the idea and Jennifer agreed with Sam it was quite a plan. A set of semis passed by, and Sam pulled out onto the road behind the last one. Jennifer deepened her eyes, and a cloud of darkness surrounded the small car making them invisible in the moonlight. Natasha slipped out of the car and slowly made her way to the front of the vehicle. Sam drove up as close as he could keeping it steady. Not wanting Natasha to fall off the front. Jennifer knew she had done something like this before but that was with equipment. Tonight, she had to do is free handed.  Natasha grabbed onto the back of the container pulling herself onto it. Sam backed off, and Jennifer watched as Natasha made her way into the container.

“Well, it’s all up to her now,” Jennifer said more to herself than the two men. Steve pulled into the parking lot where they were to meet up with Natasha after she got what they needed.

“So, do you do this all the time,” Sam asked trying to pass the time.

“Natasha and I do but Jennifer generally doesn’t go on missions,” Steve explained looking out the window.

“You have been on missions though. I mean with the Avengers.” Sam tried to explain his confusion.

“I don’t generally go with the Avenger apart from being a pilot,” Jennifer said glaring slightly at Steve. He had been the one the blacklisted her. Most of the team had tried to change his mind. However, Steve hadn’t budged. If this Hydra thing never happened it probably would have stayed that way.

About an hour later there was a tap on the window. Natasha stood there with a large duffel bag.

“You guys get your beauty sleep.” She called to them noting the tired gazes looking back at her. Sam popped the trunk for her to place the bag before getting in the car next to Jennifer.

“Remind me when this is over to tell them that the door shouldn’t be able to open until morning. That was to easy.” Natasha said as Steve headed down the road.

“I just hope we can get what we need from Sitwell,” Steve said glancing back at her.

“I don’t think that will be a problem,” Sam said pointing back at Jennifer.

“I think that we’ll try another way first. Jennifer has a way of going too far when it comes to interrogation.” Steve said making Jennifer flinch slightly.

“But remember I get results.”

* * *

 

 Jennifer leaned against the door to the roof watching Steve and Natasha go at Sitwell. She had deepened her eyes, so there was a dark cloud that surrounded her. It was her way of showing that she was there to use her powers. If Sitwell didn’t cooperate with them. He had been one of the agents that never missed an interrogation, and if she wasn’t mistaken, he had also made quite a bit of money off her. She smiled as Natasha kicked him off the roof.

“Oh wait, what about the girl from Accounting Laura…” Natasha said to Steve.

“Lillian, Lip piercing right,” Steve asked.

“Yeah, she’s cute,” Natasha said smiling.

“Yeah. I’m not ready for that.” Steve said shutting down another lady Natasha had tried to set him up with. Jennifer shook her head at the conversation. Steve should just give up the fight. Natasha wasn’t going to let up until he went out with one of these ladies. Granted the nurse across the hall had ended up being Sharon Carter. According to Natasha, she was supposed to keep an eye on him. However, when Fury had been killed her cover had been blown. Steve still was convinced that Natasha had known about the whole thing. He didn’t like tricks, and this was not the first trick S.H.I.E.L.D. had played on him. Jennifer knew Sharon was undercover but never thought she was watching Steve. Jennifer shook her head fighting back the memory of the last time they met. Sam appeared flying overhead with Sitwell in his hand. He dropped him on the roof just behind Steve and Natasha.

“Alright now, are you going to talk,” Steve said walking up to the man that was kneeling on the ground. Sitwell gasped for air. The shock of being kicked off the roof still filled him

“No.” He said clamping his mouth shut. Jennifer walked over to him dropping the cloud of smoke grabbing his hand in a tight grip. She didn’t need to physically touch a person to use her powers but found it so much more effective.

“Sitwell what are you betting red or black 30 seconds or less than ten. No matter how long it takes you know I will get it. Like you were so fond of saying a Monster always gets her prey.” She said with a sickening smile. He had used her, and she had let him for too long. Sitwell froze looking into her eyes all the color draining from his face. “Last chance talk.” He shook his head and watched as her eyes changed from blue to red. He screamed as pain filled him. For a brief moment, she let the monster breath it in.

“Zola’s algorithm is a program,” he shouted. “For choosing Insight’s targets.” She let go of him stepping back bushing back the monster once again.

“What targets,” Steve asked.

“You a TV anchor in Cairo, the undersecretary of Defense, a high school valedictorian in Iowa City, Bruce Banner, Dr. Steven Strange anyone who’s a threat to HYDRA. Now or in the future.” Sitwell explained through gasps for breath. He was still recovering from what Jennifer had done to him.

“In the future? How could it know.” Steve asked looking down at him trying not to show his distaste for Jennifer’s powers. Sitwell started to laugh at him. Jennifer took a step forward flashing her eyes to red, but Steve held up his hand stopping her. He could let her used them again that look on her face told him enough.

“How could it not? The 21st century is a digital book. Zola taught HYDRA how to read it. Your bank records, Medical histories, voting patterns, emails phone calls, your SAT scores. Zola’s algorithm evaluates people’s past to predict their future.” He yelled at Steve.

“And what then.” Steve pressed him for an answer.

“Oh, My Pierce is going to kill me,” Sitwell looked at his hands. The gravity of the situation overtaking him. Jennifer pushed past Steve and got in Sitwell’s face.

“Pierce is the least of your worries now tell us.” She yelled grabbing his hand her eyes red causing him to scream.

“Alright…alright the Insight helicarriers scratch people off the list. A few million at a time.” Jennifer let go walking toward the door. Not being able to look at him anymore. Steve walked over to her leaving Sitwell with Sam and Natasha.

“What was that Jennifer! You didn’t need to do that,” Steve said grabbing her arm spinning her around. Her eyes were blue again.

“I’m sorry Steve, but lives are on the line. I will do anything to get the information.” Her voice was raspy, and her hands were shaking. Steve stared at her.

“At what cost.”


	9. Chapter 9

Jennifer sat in the back of Sam's car with Natasha and Sitwell. The sun was in the middle of the sky. It had taken them longer than they planned to get Sitwell to cooperate. They were making their way down the highway. Jennifer was sitting on the far side with Natasha sitting in the middle. Steve didn't want Jennifer next to Sitwell. She didn't mind she didn't want to sit next to him. The voice was gone for now but the effects from using her powers still filled her mind. There was a thump on the roof pulling her from her mind. Natasha Pushed up against Jennifer as a metal hand reached in breaking through the far window. The hand grabbed Sitwell ripping him out of the car throwing him into the oncoming traffic. It was the Winter Soldier he had found them. Jennifer's heart dropped to her stomach. She shot to the left to avoid getting hit. While Natasha moved to the front sitting on Steve's lap. The gunshots came through the roof. Steve grabbed the stick shift and caused the car to stop suddenly sending Jennifer into the back of his seat. While the Winter Soldier on the roof flew off the top. The Winter Soldier using his metal arm skidded to a stop in front of them. His eyes fixed on the four of them. He moved like a well-calculated machine. Reminding Jennifer how Natasha would often when on a mission.

"Look out" Jennifer shouted spotting a black Humvee fast approaching from behind them. She did her best to brace herself against the seat in front of her. The jolt caused Natasha to drop her gun on the ground. The Winter Soldier grabbed the car and flung on to the roof. Sam slammed on the breaks hoping to get him off the vehicle. Jennifer past Natasha her spare gun while she started firing into the ceiling. The Winter Soldier dodged the bullets and grabbed the steering wheel through the windshield. Jennifer turned around and opened her door shooting her gun at him. The Humvee rammed them again causing Sam to lose control of the car. The door broke off and slammed into Jennifer knocking her onto the road. Steve grabbed both Natasha and Sam and jumped out of the car. Jennifer rolled to a stop taking a deep breath fighting back the pain. Then got up and ran toward Sam who had rolled to a stop not far from her. The Winter Soldier fired a grenade at Steve. He swung his shield up in front of him blocking it. The force of the blast, however, knocked him off the highway. Jennifer hoped he was okay but couldn't spend time worrying about him. There was a wall of bullets being shot at the three of them by the Winter Soldier and his men. He shot another grenade at Natasha who jumped to the other side of the high way. He fired again, and Natasha was forced to drop to the streets below. The Winter Soldier jumped to the ground below while his men placed anchors in cars so they could follow him. Sam and Jennifer ran up to two of the men before they could jump down. The traffic had come to a complete stop and people were running in every direction. Jennifer kicked one to the soldiers in the stomach sending his head forward toward the knife in her hand killing him. She grabbed the rope he was going to use and dropped down to the ground below. Steve had just taken out the man with the machine gun when she landed next to him.

"Go I've got this," Sam called down to them. Jennifer glanced at Steve. He gave a small nod. The two of them started to run in the direction Natasha, and the Winter Soldier had gone. She saw Natasha get shot and ran over to her. Jennifer quickly assessed the damage using the string from her jacket to hold a makeshift bandage in place. Natasha was going into shock and Jennifer did her best to help stop it. It was a through in through in her left shoulder. Jennifer hadn't done anything like this in years, but her hands moved fast remembering the steps. Steve and the Winter Soldier were fighting on the other side of the street. Steve was doing his best to keep him away from them.

"Go help him," Natasha said through gritted teeth. Jennifer didn't wait she ran toward Steve. She rounded the corner and saw him standing in the middle of the road. Steve seemed frozen looking at the Winter Soldier. His mask had been removed revealing his face. He looked familiar, but Jennifer didn't have time to think about it. Sam flew at them having grabbed his gear. He kicked the Winter Soldier knocking him to the ground. While Steve just stared unmovingly. Jennifer ran up behind the Winter Soldier turning her eyes black. She grabbed his face sending fear into him. She pulled back screaming, and he whipped around to fire at her. Just as Sam kicked him again, and Natasha shot a grenade at him. Jennifer knelt on the ground gasping for breath in between screams. She pressed her hand to her head. Trying to fight back a headache. The voice calling to her. Sam took a step toward her but was stopped by several vans driving up. The vans surround the group cutting off their escape. The Winter Soldier had vanished in the confusion. Rumlow and his men jumped out and shouted for them to get on their knees. Jennifer looked up at Steve who was still staring in disbelief. His eyes looked up at her.

"Bucky." The words sent chills up her spine. She couldn't think about it too long as another wave of pain filled her head. Rumlow's men reached out to grab Jennifer but stopped when they saw her eyes still black.

"Take her," Rumlow ordered as her eyes slowly shifted back to blue. The men nodded clamping some handcuffs on her. Fear filled her at the feeling of metal around her wrist. The only thing that kept her from panicking was the headache that fogged her mind. She could barely walk, and they ended up having to drag her to the van.

" **One step closer**."

 

* * *

 

 

Jennifer could hear voices, but they seemed so far away. She was trapped in his mind living his nightmare.

_She was falling from a great height. Her hands reaching for Steve’s as he slipped away. When she woke up, she was being dragged in the snow… There was a bright flash then she was walking toward a car that had just crashed into a tree. “Help my wife.” A man cried out to her. He was crawling toward her. She pulled a gun out and shot his wife in the head. Bucky appeared next to her his eyes locked on her. He watched as she walked up to the man and gently stroked his cheek. “Cry, go ahead I long to hear your weakness.” The man clamped his mouth shut refusing to say anything. “Maybe you will scream if I kill your precious son.” She stepped back and shot him._

_“That’s not how it happened,” Bucky called to her. The monster that haunted her laughed in her head._

_“That is because this is now my memory too.”_

 

“We need to get a doctor back here,” Sam said pulling Jennifer from her mind. She jerked finding herself in the back of an armored van. Jennifer glanced up at Natasha and assess the damage. The bandage she had secured was covered in blood and needed to be replaced. Jennifer could do it if they handcuffed her hands in front. She shook her head not wanting to think about the handcuffs.

“If we don't put pressure on it. She’s gonna bleed out here in the van,” Sam said to one of the guards.

“He’s right let me look at her,” Jennifer said her voice raspy. The guard held out a taser stick at Sam. He leaned back, but the guard stabbed the other guard instead of him. Then they kicked the guard in the head. The attacker removed their helmet revealing the face of Agent Hill. They group relaxed at the sight of her.

“That thing was squeezing my brain.” She said looking at Sam. “Who is this guy?”


	10. Chapter 10

"Sam but we can do interdiction later. Unless you were just fighting for the chance to kill us." Sam said to Maria breaking the silence. She nodded tossing him a set of keys. She, in turn, worked to get Steve's restraints off. They were large and to some effort to get them free. The moving van didn't make it any easier for them.

"What are you doing here?" Natasha asked her voice weak. Jennifer grabbed her shoulder, applying more pressure to it after Sam had freed them.

"I was sen…" She was cut off by the van stops. Maria moved quickly, pulling out a device and slicing a through the floor of the van and the ground below, revealing a dark tunnel for them to escape. She didn't say anything before dropping into it. Sam was next, and Steve helped lower Natasha down to him. He reached his hand out for Jennifer. She pulled back as if he had burned her. Steve flowed her gaze to the darkness below. The voices outside were getting closer. If they didn't move, they were going to be found. Steve didn't know what to do. He couldn't say anything Ruml ow would hear it. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes. _This_ _was going to hurt_. In a quick movement, he grabbed her wrist pulling her into his arms. He placed one hand over her mouth and jumped to the darkness below, them. When Steve landed, he rolled to the side clamping his mouth shut as pain filled him. Looking down, he saw Jennifer's red eyes filled with fear. They were looking at him, but he didn't think she saw him.

"Jenny." The quiet voice of Natasha called out, but Steve couldn't think. His muscles had locked up as the pain grew stronger. Black spots started to flash in front of his eyes. She is breathing was getting more panicked, and he couldn't help her. His muscles couldn't move to let her go. Natasha continued to talk to her, but he was starting to pass out. The pain was becoming too much. It was as if it came in waves almost like a cruel laugh.

" **She is Mine,** " a voice filled his head. Before the blackness took him, Jennifer's eyes flashed a color he hadn't seen before. Causing the blackspots to vanish. Her eyes snapped back to blue. The pain leaving him in an instance. He released her, and she rolled out of his grip gasping for air. Steve leaned his head back as he caught his own breath.

"I'm…" Jennifer whispered out.

"We have to go," Sam said helping Steve up to his feet. His knees gave out for a brief moment needing Sam to help steady him. Natasha was leaning against Maria her face pail. Jennifer sat bent over in a ball.

"Leave please." Her voice was quiet almost as if she wasn't talking to anyone. Jennifer looked to the left a glimmer of relief crossed her face before getting up. She looked over at him with guilt filling her eyes. He held up his hands stopping her.

"Don't we need to go."

Jennifer worked on Natasha as they drove in the car. Her body was moving, but her mind couldn't focus. The wound was severe, but Maria assured her that there were medical equipment and personnel where they were going. Jennifer wouldn't mind doing it herself if her hands stopped shaking. Steve helped her get Natasha out of the car when they finally arrived. They hadn't said anything since the tunnel. Jennifer was unable to meet his gaze, instead turning to look at their surroundings. It looked to be in the middle of nowhere, but Jennifer didn't have the energy to figure out where. Her head was pounding, and the Monster called to her.

She had lost it and used her powers on Steve. It was for a moment but how could she do that to him. Steve had grabbed her, and she lost it. She looked over at him; his gaze distant. _What was he thinking_ _about her…or Bucky?_ She had seen Bucky's life before and after his "death". However, who was that man she killed. His face had been lost in the sea of faces filling her mind. She couldn't think about it for too long the Monster was waiting for her. The group walked into the wet tunnel, and Maria called out to a man that was running up to them.

"GSW she's lost about a pint of blood." The man was apparently a doctor.

"Two," Jennifer said her voice raspy. The man ordered Natasha to come with him, but Maria stopped him saying they had to see "him" first. She pulled back a curtain revealing Fury laying in a medical bed surrounded by medical equipment. He looked up at the four of them.

"About time," He said causing Jennifer's stomach to twist in a knot. The doctor walked Natasha over to a chair and started to work on her. Jennifer watched him his hands steady. She pulled her eyes away with some effort.

"What happened to you," Natasha asked Fury wincing slightly in pain as he adjusted in the bed.

"Lacerated spinal column, a cracked sternum, shattered collarbone, perforated liver, and one massive headache." Fury explained to them trying not to move much. Jennifer let a small puff of her lips. Sam glanced over at her then back a Fury.

"Don't forget your collapsed lung." The doctor added looking up from Natasha's wound. He was making quick work of it. Jennifer crossed her arms. Fighting back the slight jealousy that was filling her. He was able to do what she always wanted to do heal people.

"Let's not forget that. Otherwise, I'm good," Fury said.

"They cut you open. Your heart stopped." Natasha said.

"Tetrodotoxin B," Jennifer said everyone looked at her. "Slows the pulse to one beat a minute." She had read several of the reports that Bruce had written about it.

"Banner developed it for stress. Didn't work so great for him but we found a use for it." Fury explained, but that wasn't the whole truth. After it was proven useless for Banner Fury had turned to see its effect on her. But like Banner, it had only increased her problem. Steve shook his head at Fury's words.

"Why all the secrecy? Why not just tell us?" Steve asked Fury. His words were curt the Soldier's patents wearing thin.

"Any attempt on the Director's life had to look successful," Maria spoke up answering the question.

"Can't kill you if you're already dead. Besides I wasn't sure, who to trust." Fury said looking at them.

"I need some air," Jennifer said walking out of the room. Not able to listen to him anymore. Not after everything they learned.

Jennifer sat in the corner of the room where they were making their plans. But she wasn't listening; she was lost in her mind. Running through her new memories and old ones.

"We're not salvaging anything," Steve shouted pulling her from her thoughts. "We're not just taking down the carriers, Nick. We're taking down S.H.I.E.L.D." Steve said placing a hand on the table.

"S.H.I.E.L.D. had nothing to do with this." Fury shot back at him.

"You gave me this mission. This is how it ends. S.H.I.E.L.D.'s been compromised. You said so yourself. HYDRA grew right under your nose, and nobody noticed." Steve said letting his frustration show.

"Why do you think we're meeting in this cave I noticed." Fury defended, Steve glanced over at Jennifer.

"How many paid the price before you did," Steve asked him. Nick looked up at Jennifer who was sitting in a chair looking at her wrists.

"Look, I didn't know about Barnes." He said ignoring the obvious topic of Jennifer.

"Or would you have compartmentalized that too. S.H.I.E.L.D.

HYDRA it all has to go." Steve said standing his ground.

"He's right," Maria added, Fury looked around at all of them. They were all nodding in agreement except for Jennifer. Fury looked over at Sam.

"Don't look at me I do what he does, just slower," Sam said holding his hands up.

"Well…It looks like you're giving the orders now Captain," Fury said. Jennifer shoved her chair back with such force they all jumped slightly. She stood up looking Fury in the eye.

"I'm sorry, but you knew…This whole time you knew S.H.I.E.L.D. did this to me...You knew that they murdered my parents. You knew, and you let them take me from…" Her voice squeaked as it grew horse. "I trusted you even after what happened, and you have done nothing but break it. I thought that I was alright with this, but I'm not. How could you keep this from me?" She screamed, and Fury held up his hands.

"I wasn't part…" He tried to explain, but she cut him off.

"I was five and had to watch them kill my parents in front of me. I had to live in a room alone for one year while being tested on day after day. When I was finally given a new family, who was the one standing on the front porch to drag me away from them…You. Don't try and say you were the victim and have trust issues. I was your monster for the past ten years. For what nothing." She turned to walk out of the room.

"Jennifer." Fury called out; she turned around her eyes slowly bleeding to black.

"Don't forget just because you're not the one pulling my strings. Doesn't make me any less the monster you used." She spat turning and walking out of the room. No one said anything stunned by Jennifer's sudden outburst.

"I didn't know about Jennifer. The minute I found out that she was alive I sent Agent Barton to go find her." Fury said looking to Steve.

"Yeah, then why did you rob her of a normal life," Steve growled out.

"I didn't want to, but it was for the safety of the family. You had seen her powers imagine what they were like when she didn't know how to control them." Fury shook his head fighting back the screams of a girl pleading for forgiveness. "Agent Shylow was HYDRAS mistake, and I'm the reasons she is not sitting in a cell right now." Steve looked over a Natasha not knowing what to do.

"Give her time she needs space to cool off. She like the rest of us are having a bad day," Natasha said to Steve.

Steve stood looking over the forest. Natasha had gone to talk to Jennifer. He had wanted to go, but his mind was just as turned around as hers was.

_"This isn't a back-alley Steve; this_ _is_ _a war," Bucky yelled at him. Trying_ _to keep Steve from breaking_ _the law just_ _to get into_ _the army._

_"I know it's a war." Steve stopped him. They had this conversation over and over again._

_"Then why are you so keen to fight? There are so many important jobs." Bucky pressed needing Steve to say it out loud._

_"What would you have me do? Collect scrap metal in my red wagon?" Steve said fighting back the frustration at how small he was._

_"Yes,_ _why not?" Bucky didn't understand he just wanted Steve to stay safe. Steve was like his little brother. It was his responsibility to keep him safe since everyone else in Steve's life was gone._

_"I'm not gonna sit in a factory. Bucky come_ _on there are men laying_ _down their lives. I got no right to do any less than them. That's what you don't understand. This_ _isn't about me." Bucky glared at him._

_"Right cause you got nothing to prove."_

"He's gonna be there you know," Sam said pulling Steve out of his thoughts.

"I know," Steve said.

"Look, whoever he used to be the guy he is now, I don't think he's the kind you save. He's the kind you stop." Sam said walking up to him. _I'll be with you to the end of the line._

The words Bucky had said to him since they were kids filled his head.

"I don't know if I can do that." Steve continued to stare out into his memories.

"Well, he might not give you a choice. He doesn't know you." Sam reminded him.

"He will." Steve defended.

"Look at what happened to Jennifer. I don't think that's a mind that can be fixed." Steve looked over at him.

"I have to try." He replied shivering slightly at the memory of Jennifer using her powers on him.

Jennifer was sharpening her knives alone in one of the side areas. Natasha walked up to her giving her plenty of space.

"How are your stitches holding?" Jennifer asked not looking up from her work. Her voice had mostly returned to normal. Natasha looked down at her bandage taking a step closer.

"You could have done it better. Do you want to talk about what happened in there?" Jennifer shrugged her shoulders.

"It's been a long three days Natasha. I need this to be over, I haven't used my powers this much or like this in a long time." Jennifer pinched the bridge of her nose trying to fight back a pounding headache.

"Jennifer you know that you can't keep going like this," Natasha said walking to the other side of the table. Forcing Jennifer to look at her. "You are not a monster." Jennifer opened her mouth to say something then shook her head.

"This is such a mess, and I can't take it." She turned back to her work. "I have spent so much time trying to prove that I'm not a monster and in one moment I throw it all away. Just to yell at Fury." Natasha laughed at that.

"If that was you losing control then, by all means, lose control. I thought you were going to actually use your powers on him," Natasha said. Jennifer shut her eyes leaning over the table. "What is it," Natasha asked noticing the change in her friend. It was like a tremendous weight had landed on her shoulders.

"I used my powers on Steve." Natasha looked at her.

"Steve knew the risk he took that's not what's bothering you," Jennifer set her things down.

"I saw him, Natasha. I saw Bucky when I grabbed him. He is so lost. If I just had more time, I might be able to bring him back." Natasha shook her head at that statement.

"No…I don't want you thinking that way, and I especially don't want you telling Steve that. He is in the way of us saving millions of people, and I don't want you to hesitate," she snapped. "Are we clear," She asked looking Jennifer in the eyes. Jennifer slowly nodded.

"Let's get this thing over with."

They walked through the woods that ran up against S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters. Jennifer was quiet; she didn't want to talk to anyone. Natasha had tried to cool her down, but her mind was so fogged she couldn't focus on anything other than the mission. Fury and Natasha were getting into the building by other means. This left Sam, Steve, Maria, and Jennifer to make their way in through the back. Steve glanced over at her. He was wearing the old uniform that he had stolen from the Captain America exhibit at the museum. He and Sam had gone there to get some of Steve's old gear since they had to ditch his normal one. S.H.I.E.L.D. had put tracking equipment in it.

"Are you alright." He asked plainly. She gave a small nodded not trusting her voice. "I need your head in this Jennifer can you do that." She raised her left eyebrow.

"I could say the same about you. Especially after what I did to you." Steve took a deep breath.

"Jennifer, I knew it would happen. You didn't mean to do it, I trust you. It was a bad situation, and your body felt trapped. Now I need you to stay with Maria." Jennifer jerked back at that.

"But you need me." Steve grabbed her arm stopping them so the others couldn't hear.

"I need someone to stay on the ground in case things go bad. Maria can't because she had to monitor the computers." She wanted to argue but instead nodded.

"I will but if this starts to go south know that I will be there in a heartbeat." She said causing Steve to smile.

"I would expect nothing less."


	11. Chapter 11

It didn’t take long for them to get to the control room and set the intercom system up for Steve. Jennifer stood by the door while Steve gave his speech. He had a way of inspiring people.

“The price of freedom is high. It always has been. And it’s a price I’m willing to pay. And if I’m the only one then so be it. But I’m willing to bet I’m not.” Steve finished standing up.

“Did you write that down first, or was it off the top of your head?” Sam asked walking over to him. Jennifer couldn’t help but think that they might actually be able to do this. Just before Steve and Sam left, he turned to her.

“Stay safe.” He said to Jennifer smiling.

“Don’t worry about me get these people their freedom.” She replied, then turned back to the room where Maria sat at one of the computers. Jennifer grabbed the sniper gun and went to the window. Cocking it, she trained it in on the flight deck.

“They have initiated flight.” Agent Hill called out into the comms. Jennifer had to give cover for Sam and Steve while they were still on the ground. Steve and Sam made it on the hellacariers. While Jennifer was using the gun to clear a path for them.  The ships were slowly talking off. Marie was giving them time updates as they went. They were running out of time.

“Do you think we can do this,” Jennifer called over to Maria. There was a commotion on the flight deck, but she couldn’t quite see what was causing it beside the obvious.

“Rogers has a way of making things happen,” Maria reassured her. Jennifer saw an explosion on the far side of the flight deck and froze when she saw what was causing the commotion.

“Steve he’s here” Jennifer called through the comms. The Winter Soldier was tearing through the people that were on the tarmac. Jennifer aimed and shot at him, but he turned at the last minute getting into one of the jets.

“Jennifer, we have incoming,” Maria called not looking up from the computer screen. Jennifer whipped around shot the two men that had just entered the room.

“Guy’s I’m grounded,” Sam reported to them. She set the sniper gun down and walked over to Maria. This was going sideways, and Maria could handle herself.

“Rumlow’s heading to the council.” Maria pointed at the screen.

“I’ll go help Natasha, and Sam can go after him.” Maria nodded, and Jennifer ran down the hall. She took a sharp corner and ran right into Rumlow. He smiled looking at her blue eyes.

“Ah, the Monster returns to her den. I should have never let Barton find you.” He spat at her pulling out a knife. Jennifer wished she had her gun on her but pulled out her knives. He charged at her, and she dodged at the last second. She caught him in the arm swing up at him. Rumlow cursed and looked behind her. Jennifer turned around in time to see a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent train a gun on her. She had only a second to react. She grabbed the gun and disarmed the agent. Rumlow stabbed her in the lower stomach when Jennifer turned back to him. She sucked in a deep breath hearing Sam call Rumlow’s name. He had arrived just in time. Jennifer grabbed the other agent and rolled her eyes black sending fear into him. He screamed and backed away before running toward a window. She yelled as he jumped out the window. Jennifer felt her headache return in full force. She whipped around and smacked Rumlow in the head with her elbow. He hit the side of her head knocking her comm out just as Sam came up behind and grabbed him in a chokehold.

“Jennifer, I got this you get out of here.” Jennifer nodded running for the council room. Looking down she could see blood starting to seep into her uniform. She adjusted her belt so it would put some pressure on the wound. Jennifer needed to get it taken care of before too long. The last thing she wanted was to pass out. She burst through the counsel room door. Natasha stood next to Pierse with Fury holding up his hands.

“Agent Shylow why am I not surprised you’re here,” Pierce said with a smile. Jennifer turned her eyes black. “I wouldn’t do that you see this device on your friend Agent Romanoff isn’t just for show. It will burn a hole in her chest. Killing her if I lift my thumb.” He gestured to his phone. Jennifer looked at Fury, and he gave a small nod. “Well, time to go,” Pierse said grabbing Natasha’s arm steering her to the door. Jennifer stepped back turning her eyes back to blue watching them leave. She did not know what to do. Natasha pulled out her taser and set it off before Pierse could react. It disarmed the device and sent Natasha to the ground. Fury picked up a gun and shot Pierse in the chest. He crashed through the glass dead. Fury ran over to check on Natasha.

“Is she alright,” Jennifer called as she made her way over to them sucking in a deep breath as she stepped.

“Ow that does hurts,” Natasha said slowly sitting up.

“We need to move, Jennifer can you walk,” Fury asked, she, looked down at her wound and over at the helicopter.

“I don’t have much of a choice.” She ran over to the chopper the destruction overhead reminding them that they needed to get moving. Jennifer couldn’t fly, but thankfully Fury had been the one to fly it there. He got it in the air in record time. Which was a good thing since one of the Helicarriers was headed right toward the building? Jennifer put the headset on so she could tap into the comms.

“Please tell me you got that chopper in the air!” Sam shouted into the comms.

“Sam where are you,” Jennifer asked looking at the building.

“41st floor! Northwest corner!” He replied sounding out of breath.

“We’re on it! Stay where you are!” Natasha shouted back.

“Not an option.” They arrived at the corner just as Sam jumped out of one of the windows. Fury wrenched the control stick, so the chopper would be on its side and could catch Sam as he fell. He slammed into the cabin and Natasha had to grab him so he wouldn’t fall out the other side of the chopper.

“41st floor! 41st!” He shouted up at her.

“It’s not like they put the floor numbers on the outside of the building,” Fury yelled back as he stabilized the chopper.

“Hill you got a location on Rogers,” Natasha called into the comms. A warning signal started to go off on the helicopter.

“What’s that,” Sam called.

“We took some damage we’re going to have to put the chopper down,” Jennifer called. If she was honest with herself, she needed them to be on the ground. Her side was starting to go numb. Fury put the helicopter down in the field that rubbed up next to the lake. One of the Helicarriers crashed into the lake right as the helicopter powered down.

“Status report on Captain Rogers,” Fury asked through the comms.

“I don’t have a location on Captain Rogers. I think he was still on the ship when it went down.” Maria’s voice sounded hollow. Jennifer hopped out of the copper and ran to the shore hoping to see some sign of life. In the distance, she saw him. Bucky pulling Steve out of the water. She ran over to him as he left Steve on the shore. He turned around and looked at her.

“Help him.” He said in Russian.

“I hope you find peace,” she replied. Then she knelt next to Steve. He was in bad shape. She pulled her hood and belt off and used it as a bandage for the GSW to his abdomen. She was in the middle of assessing his head wound when Natasha ran over.

“What do you need. The medics are on their way.” Jennifer looked up at her. She could hear her voice but couldn’t understand her. The world started to spin, and she fought the wave of nausea, before blacking out.


	12. Chapter 12

Jennifer slowly opened her eyes to find Clint and Natasha standing over her. She tried to sit up, but Clint gently pushed her back down.

“You can’t move you could pull your stitches. Now, Jennifer, this could have ended very differently.” Clint shook his head.

“I wish I could have been here to help.” Natasha grabbed his shoulder.

“No one could have seen this coming. There was no time to call in the team.” Jennifer reached over grabbing her chart that was sitting on the nightstand for her to look over. There wasn’t going to be any lasting damage from this injury thankfully. It would however scar. The thought sent chills up her spine. She didn’t want to hide yet another.

“How is Steve,” Jennifer asked not looking up from the chart.

“He’s fine his body is almost fully healed.” Jennifer smiled setting her chart down.

“How long have I been out.” Natasha looked at Clint.

“Two days. The doctors want to keep you a few more days,” Natasha said. Jennifer rolled her eyes; she didn’t much like the idea. Clint razed her eyebrow.

“Now I don’t want to get a call in the middle of the night saying you checked yourself out against the doctor’s orders. So, you are going to stay here as long as they say you need to be here.” Jennifer picked up one of the pillows throwing it at him.

“Fine, then you two better get out of here so I can go back to sleep.” Natasha smiled.

“See you later. Your clothes are on the table.” The two agents waved leaving her alone. It wasn’t long before Jennifer had fallen back to sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

It was around midnight when Jennifer slowly made her way down the hall. She had changed into the clothes Natasha brought. She had on a loose pair of black sweats and matching hoody. She ducked under the nurse’s desk, so she wouldn’t be spotted and slipped into Steve’s room without making a noise. He was sitting up and watching Star Wars. The sound was loud, and it looked like he was fighting to stay awake. This all prevented him from noticing the darkness fill the corner of the room. Jennifer slipped into the chair next to the bed. She sat watching the movie for a few minutes. A book on the nightstand, however, caught her attention. She picked it up turning it around in her hands. The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, she hadn’t read that one. So, Jennifer opened it to read the first few pages before she headed back to her room.

She felt someone’s eyes on her pulling her from the book. Looking up she was met with Steve ice blue eyes watching her. She leaped out of the chair backing into the corner dropping the book on the floor.  The sudden movement pulled her stitches, and she sucked in a deep breath. Steve got out of his bed and grabbed her arms to help steady her. Then gently lowered her into the chair.

“Hey, are you alright,” Steve asked sitting on the edge of his bed his brows pulled together.

“Yeah, I just moved too quickly. Sorry for disturbing your movie.” Steve glanced back at the TV and shook his head; he had paused it.

“No problem. What are you doing here especially at 2 in the morning? Shouldn’t you be in bed.” Jennifer looked at the clock; apparently, she had gotten lost in the book.

“I came to see how you were doing the nurses wouldn’t let me out of my room, so I had to sneak in here. You were so into the movie; I decided I would join you. I was only going to read the first few pages, but that apparently didn’t happen.” Steve bent over and picked up the book.

“What did you think of it. Sam dropped it off. He said that I needed to read something familiar for every three new things.” Jennifer pulled her feet up wincing slightly before settling into the chair.

“I liked it. I like how he points out that man is not equal parts good and evil.” Steve looked at her.

“I wouldn’t have thought people would still think that way. Isn't it a little old-fashioned? Don’t people like to say that everyone is inherently good or evil not both.” Jennifer gently rubbed her wrists that were hidden under her long sleeves.

“I have seen far more people choosing to be Mr. Hydes than Dr. Jekyll,” Jennifer said her voice squeaked slightly. Steve leaned forward looking at her.

“Why does your voice do that?” He asked keeping his tone gentle not wanting to press her. She seemed more open tonight like how she was in the truck the other night. However, the way she was balled up in her chair Steve felt she could shut him out any minute.

“When I was in the room I would scream hoping and praying that someone would hear me. But no one came.” Jennifer waited a few minutes before continuing. “Like you have noticed it only gives out every so often. When I get worked up, or I use it too much.”

“I’m sorry it must be a hard reminder,” Steve said causing Jennifer to look down at her hands.

“I have worse reminders.” Steve followed her eyes.

“I know a thing or two when it comes to bad reminders.” She looked up at this.

“What do you have to be reminded of.” She asked her blue eyes scanning his face. Steve gave a small smile pulling something out if his pocket. He handed it over to her. Jennifer took it recognizing the object as his compass. She opened it seeing the picture of Peggy.

“I always had an idea of what my life would be like. I was small,” he let out a small laugh. “That changed when I was picked to be given the super soldier serum. When I met Peggy, I thought I had finally met the one I was going to marry. I lost her when I went into the ice.” Steve shivered slightly at the cold memory. “Now I live in this strange world. Everywhere I look I see what I gave up.” Jennifer looked around the room. It was a normal hospital room to her, but to him, it would be so different. “Sure, I’m getting used to it, but it's still, not my home.” Jennifer waited for a heartbeat before she responded.

“Why then do you visit Peggy.” She hoped he didn’t get mad.

“Because like Bucky they are my last ties to that life I thought I would have,” Steve said looking at the compass still in Jennifer’s hands.

“Did you love her,” Jennifer said then blushed at the question. Steve let out a sigh.  

“Peggy knew me before I was Captain America. That can never happen again. She liked me for me. Not what I was made into. She was the last person I talked to before going into the ice. I never did get that dance with her. She was who I always hoped I would grow old with. I guess I still hold on to that happy ending. A home…a family…a simple life.” Jennifer handed the compass back over.

“I’m sure you’ll find your happy ending one day,” Jennifer said noticing the Monster appear in the corner of the room.

“What about you. Still waiting for your happy ending.” Steve asked, but she didn’t answer just staring to her left, lost. He glanced in the direction she was looking. There was nothing just the empty corner of the room. He cleared his throat drawing her eyes back to his. She seemed more guarded than she did seconds ago.

“People like me don’t get happy endings. I’m a Monster; there is no other way to describe me.” She gave a sad smile.

“You’re a woman, an Avenger, more importantly, you’re my friend.” Jennifer looked up at him.

“Really after everything even after I used my powers on you. You’re willing to call me a friend. Why?” Steve leaned closer.

“Because I trust you. Like I said I knew the risk. You were scared, and your body reacted. So, don’t think about it anymore.” Steve readjusted on the bed accidentally hitting the TV clicker unpausing it. He moved to stop it, but Jennifer reached forward grabbing his hand.

“Leave it on. I like this part.” She said with a small smile. The two of them watched movies until early in the morning. Jennifer didn’t realize she had fallen asleep. She also didn’t know that Steve carried her back to her room in his arms where she slept for the rest of the morning. What she did know was that it was the first full night of sleep without a nightmare since before she was kidnaped.

 


	13. Epilogue

“Do me a favor call that nurse,” Natasha said after handing him the file.  Steve smiled at her as they stood in the cemetery.  They were standing in front of the Fury’s fake grave.

“She’s not a nurse,” Steve replied. 

“And you’re not a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent,” Natasha pointed out eyeing him.

“What was her name again,” Steve asked causing Natasha to smile.

“Sharon, she’s nice.”  Steve glance over at the car that Natasha had driven.

“Maybe I will.”  Natasha walked away after saying her goodbyes getting into the car.  Jennifer handed her a cup of coffee.

“Are you sure you don’t want to say goodbye,” Natasha asked, Jennifer, looked over at her.

“No, I’ll see them again.  You know me I don’t do goodbyes.”  Natasha looked at her.

“You know he’s thinking about going out with Sharon.”  Jennifer looked at Steve.  He was talking to Sam while looking through the file.

“Something tells me that you put that idea in his head.  Don’t try and deny it you have been offering up every single lady you know.”  Natasha smiled putting the car into drive.  Pulling Jennifer’s eyes from Steve.

“Not everyone.  Steve is a nice guy, but you and I know that it would be a bad idea.”  Jennifer looked out the window as they drove away.  Her mind getting lost in a life she would never have.  “With baggage, it’s sometimes nice to have some who know how to help you carry it.”  She said quietly.

“Yes, but they can’t if their arms are already full.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, this is the end of part 2. I have also uploaded the Interluded this week since this was a small chapter. Next week I will upload the first chapter of the next part. Thanks again for reading. It's strange to have others reading about Jennifer. I hope you like it.


End file.
